I really could've died.

Last Thursday morning at 1'oclock i was awakened by sharp, stabbing pains in the left side of my chest. I honestly thought I was having a heart attack. It was miserable. I couldn't lay down for fear of dying and I did not know what to do! I went to the doctor at 11:40am that day and gave me about 30 seconds to tell him my symptoms and then he listened to me breath, ran a chest x-ray, and when it came up clear, told me to take ibuprofen three times a day and that it was probably just because of working out. I was very doubtful; I've worked out many many times and never had pain like this, but... he's the doctor so I went on my not-so-merry way and spent the rest of the day in agony. I couldn't recline even the slightest or else i felt like my chest cavity was going to implode. I couldn't breathe. I had a blessing Thursday evening, it was wonderful, and personal and inspiring. I "slept" by sitting at the foot of an arm chair and resting my head on a couple pillows stacked on the seat. This is the only way I could find the slightest respite.

After struggling through yet another sleepless night I decided (at the prodding of my roommates and my mom) to seek a second opinion. At 10:30 my dear friend Kilee drove me to the doctor where he listened to all my symptoms, thought carefully about what I was telling him and took me seriously as an adult, not just a whiny kid who doesn't know the difference between being sore from working out and immense internal suffering. He seemed perplexed by the fact that the pain existed only in the left side of my chest and decided to run some blood tests. He said there was a slight chance that it could be a blood clot but that most likely it was an infection or some sort of inflammation of the lung. After drawing blood he gave me some antibiotics and sent me on my way. I return to my apartment and about half an hour later I get a call from the lab telling me the results of one of my blood tests was 10 times higher than normal and that I could very likely have a blood clot in my lung and needed to come get a CT scan immediately. So Erika drove me to the clinic where I had the scan. It hurt soooo bad, I sobbed the entire time. Why? I had to lay down with both arms above my head, oh. my. gosh. I honestly wanted to die. agony. I'm pretty sure I freaked the tech guy out. Well, after I waited for the results the tech guy told me to walk back over to the doctors office.

Upon my arrival the Dr. said, "I hope you brought your toothbrush." I knew this meant something was wrong and I was staying at the hospital. Turns out I did have a blood clot, a big one. I am SO SO SO lucky I decided to see another doctor, and SO SO SO lucky he decided to run the blood tests. I could've died. Given a little more time that clot could've broken off and moved to my brain causing me to have a stroke and die, or it could've started killing actual lung tissue, causing lots of problems, or it could've caused a heart attack. A pulmonary embolism is no small thing but when and how we caught it made it as less serious as possible. I spent the night at the hospital taking pain killers that did not work. It sucked. I didn't sleep. The only good thing is that my mom drove down as soon as she heard so she spent the weekend with me. I love my mom; having her here with me made all the difference in the world. I could not ask for a better momma. :) I was discharged Saturday about noon with instructions to take Lovanox (a shot I gave myself in my tummy twice a day) and a pill called cumadin. Both of these are blood thinners and I'll be taking the pills once a day for six months. I still couldn't lay down, so my mom bought me four new pillows and propped me up. I had to sleep by leaning forward on the four pillows stacked on my lap. Not a very comfortable way to sleep. But that's the best I could manage. I was taking 2 of the pain pills and they didn't make me super loopy or anything but they did give me CRAZY very VIVID dreams that would make me feel like I'd slept for hours when it had only been 20 or 30 minutes.

Finally on Monday the pain began to wane and I got a little bit of sleep, I actually felt quite rested on Tuesday and felt very little pain. By Wednesday I was sore, and tired, and ornery and really just bored of staying in my apartment all day. Yesterday, Thursday, I went to two of my classes, and to the Dr.'s office and was exhausted after. I fell asleep at 8:30 and didn't wake up until 7:00. I'm definitely on the mend, but it was just one week ago they discovered a large blood clot in my lung... so I'm going to take my time getting back up to full speed.