How to be the BEST customer ever!

My dear friend Megan wrote a piece about the struggles retail associates have with rude customers. I had to giggle a little bit. Working in fast food has offered me the opportunity to interact with some rude, ignorant or otherwise aggravating customers. As a result, I've decided to make a fast food version of Megan's.

How To Be The Best Customer EVER!

1. The most important thing you must do is act like every employee is simply wasting your precious time. I mean, after all, who do they think they are: interrupting your conversation to take your order, or asking a series of questions about said order??? It is especially important that you make a phone call right as you approach the front of the line. Be it your mom, boyfriend, boss or RS President you must continue this conversation making the employee and everyone behind you in line wait. The employees are there to serve you!

2. Do NOT remove your headphones while placing your order. The employees appreciate it so much when you do the weird whisper-because-I-don't-know-how-loud-I'm-actually-speaking. Lip reading is a skill all employees seek to master and you're helping them by giving them an opportunity to practice. It also helps them learn how to speak loudly and clearly so that you can hear them over your music.

3. If you are a regular please be sure to ask the same questions every time you come.

Monday: "I'll have a foot-long spicy Italian ......"

"What sauce would you like?"

"What would you recommend?"

"Most customers choose Chipolte and/or Ranch."

" All right, I'll do both of those." "Great!"

Wednesday: "I'll have a foot-long spicy Italian ......"

"What sauce would you like?"

"What would you recommend?"

"Most customers choose Chipolte and/or Ranch."

" All right, I'll do both of those." "Great!"

4. Along the same lines as number 3: The employees LOVE it when you ask for suggestions and then blatantly ignore them. As what cheese they recommend then get a different one. Ask what sauce and choose the opposite. Ask what burger is the most popular and get a salad. Employees really appreciate having their opinions and ideas ignored. You don't have to like their suggestions but NEVER acknowledge their suggestions or give them any credibility.

5. When the gate's closed, the lights are off and the single employee is mopping be sure to ask if they are open. If they say no ask if they can make an exception and make you a taco from the food that has already been put away in the fridge they already cleaned. You'll pay with cash!

6. If you want to be everyone's favorite customer don't look at the menu while standing in line. Wait until you're standing in front of the cashier to even glance at your choices. This way the cashier has to make awkward small talk while trying to hurry you along in your decision making. Cashier loooove getting to know their customer and this is a great way to give them the opportunity to do so.

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