My heart is a tender thing --- quick to hope. slow to trust. Because, you see, once trust is extended there is opportunity for the trust to be betrayed, misused, or simply disregarded. As I'm sure you all know, this betrayal of trust is far from painless, in fact its often incredibly painful. As a result my willingness to trust decreases and, once extended, is carefully guarded and withdrawn at the first sign of trouble. The old saying, "fool me once-shame on you, fool me twice-shame on me" is the approach I take to guarding my heart: hurt me (lie to me, cheat on me, betray me, mistreat me) once- shame on you, hurt me twice-shame on me. Unfortunately (or fortunately) few people are given the opportunity to hurt me, because well, few people deserve the opportunity... undoubtedly this also prevents me from meeting people and getting to know people who are truly worthwhile.
"It is not love that hurts. It is the infatuation with what we so blindly and foolishly accept as love that hurts. True love should never have to hurt."
But I know this statement is probably also true:
"To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing"
There have been multiple experiences (some with boys, some with friends, some with family) which have had a part in developing this attitude. It is not cynicism or pessimism -- just a little bit of trepidation and apprehension.
perhaps this too its true: "Just because something ends doesn't mean it never should have been." To love and to lose is all just part of the plan.
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