Julia's Birth Story

This is Julia's birth story.
It's very (very, very) long, and I included as many details as I can remember.
I include many medical details so that might be TMI for some people.

The laboring process began on our due date, Thursday, July 16. I woke up feeling nauseous and while I was able to eat, every time I drank something (water, milk, juice) it caused me to throw up. It reminded me of first trimester morning sickness; I had no real aversions but food didn't really appeal to me. The next morning, Friday, July 17, I woke up with some mild menstrual-like cramps which continued for most of the day. They were not especially painful, just uncomfortable, and were not regular. Around 8 o'clock or so they started to pick up both in intensity and regularity. I didn't want to get my hopes up, but I definitely had my fingers crossed that this was the real deal. When we went to bed around 10 I felt like they had slowed down and told my mom (via text) that it was a false alarm and that I was going to bed. However, they did not slow down and even after eating, resting, taking a warm bath, and bouncing on my exercise ball they were still painful and regular. The contractions were low and radiated through my hips, stomach, and lower back.  I was timing them using an app and around 12:00 am on Saturday, July 18 they were about 5 minutes apart and lasting 1 minute... this was 2/3 of the 5-1-1 rule I was taught (contractions 5 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute, for 1 hour), so I knew I needed them to continue this way for the next hour to ensure I was in active labor before I called in.

Now, I'm going to stop here for a second and explain something. I have always thought I had a high pain tolerance, that I was tough. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. The memory has already started to fade, but honestly, contractions hurt way worse that I anticipated. I thought I was being all brave and strong by waiting until 1 o'clock to call the hospital... thinking I was 'laboring at home.' Wrong again. I now know that I have the pain tolerance of a goldfish (I'm assuming a goldfish's pain tolerance is akin to his attention span). 

Anyway, during this time Jason is sleeping and I'm alternating between the bath, the ball, and the bed trying to manage the pain. By 1 o'clock I decided I was going to call the on-call doctor. The answering service picked up and I explained that I believed I was in active labor, she said she'd page the doctor and that I should expect to hear from her within the next 30 minutes. I went to wake Jason but before I had a chance the doctor had called me and advised me to go to Labor and Delivery to at least get checked out. I woke up Jason (who was bewildered and confused, but very calm) and told him it was time to go to the hospital. We added the last few items to the hospital bag, said goodbye to Ty (our lab) and drove to the hospital.  The hospital is about 15-20 minutes away from our house and though it was probably the fastest we'd ever been able to make it there, it certainly felt like it took forever. As we were driving the contractions slowed a bit to about 6-8 minutes apart, but were still very painful. I mostly just tried to relax through them and breathe; though once or twice I definitely whined my way through them. I kept telling Jason how stupid I was going to feel if they sent us back home; I desperately wanted to check-in and stay. We got to the hospital and I snapped at Jason as he tried to figure out where to park. We walked into the ER entrance (you know because it was about 2:00 in the morning and it was the only door open) and signed in at the desk. Then we walked up to Labor and Delivery. Jason told the nurses that we'd called the doctor and been told to come in to get checked. They took us to a delivery room, I changed into a gown, and they hooked me up with the fetal heart rate monitor and the contraction monitor. Baby girl is quite the wiggle worm so they had a hard time getting a reading on her heart rate for more than a couple minutes at a time.

My husband is my hero. He is ridiculously level headed and so calm (sometimes it annoys me how calm he can be!). When Jason called my dad to ask him for his blessing in marrying me my dad said, "You seem like a pretty easy going guy... Jaraka's not so easy going." And my dad was spot on. From the moment I woke him up until we had a sweet baby girl home a week later he was the picture of strength, faith, and patience. I know that the experience was hard for him; I know that he felt the pain and the stress just as much as I did... but every time I looked to him for support (which was basically constantly) he was there to hold my hand and reassure me. He takes his role as husband and father very seriously and we are lucky girls to call him ours. 

At around 2:20 the nurse checked my cervix and I was only 1-2 cm dilated. I was so bummed; I thought for sure they were going to send us home: my contractions had spaced out to nearly 10 minutes apart, and I was barely dilated. We waited in the room for about an hour. I was SO uncomfortable; I had to stay in that stupid bed because every time I moved we lost baby's heart rate. When we did have her on the monitor there were little dips in her rate that were not accompanied by contractions, and she didn't seem to be responding to the contractions at all. The nurse put an oxygen mask on me to hopefully help get baby's levels up.

 It was miserable; even with the contractions so spread out I was so upset about being stuck in that bed; I wanted to stand up so badly. In order to make it through the contractions I focused on wiggling my toes as vigorously as possible through each one. It was a bit silly, but it really did help take my mind off the pain in my hips and keep from crying or whining too much. Jason laid on the couch and would watch the monitor for contraction and talk me through them ("it's about to peak." "it's leveling off." "almost through,babe"). I found it comforting. But I was sure they were sending us home; I didn't want to go home; I couldn't handle hours of labor and contractions at home. Around 3:30 a nurse came in and said she was going to set up my IV. I was a bit confused as to why I would need an IV if I was going home, but 5 minutes later the doctor came in and said we were staying. I was SO relieved.

Another quick break for commentary: I have no idea why she decided to keep me. I was barely dilated, my contractions had slowed down, and I wasn't making any progress. I don't know that there was any clear medical reason for me to stay. Perhaps because I was past 40 weeks, or perhaps because I have a blood clotting condition (Factor V Leiden heterogeneous) for which I had been taking daily injections of anti-coagulants for the duration of my pregnancy, or perhaps because of the dips in baby's heart rate, or maybe because she knew somehow that my baby girl needed to be born that day. I honestly feel like the doctor (who wasn't my normal OB btw) was inspired in her care for me and Julia; despite evidence to the contrary, she knew baby girl would be better out than in. 

Once it was clear that we were staying, they started my IV and the doctor said the next step was to break my waters. She mentioned that contractions usually get more intense after the water is broken and asked if I wanted an epidural first. YES (remember, goldfish level pain tolerance). They called for the anesthesiologist and she got to my room around 4:30. After setting up all her gear, and cleaning my back she attempted to place the epidural. I was so stressed out. In addition to the contractions (which sucked), I also kept feeling her poking around back there.  I had the oxygen mask on which made it difficult to talk and the bag kept getting squished which meant it was difficult to take deep breaths. The anesthesiologist kept telling me to talk to her, tell her what I was feeling... but between that stupid bag and my anxiety it wasn't very fruitful. After about 30 minutes of poking and no epidural placed, she said she needed a break. I laid back down and they got the baby's heart back on the monitor for a few minutes. They we tried again. I tried so hard to be patient and calm but the anesthesiologist said that she kept hitting bone, that my vertebrae were too close together. That made me so nervous... I needed that epidural; I knew I couldn't have this baby without it. After another 30 minutes of trying she gave up and said that she'd need another anesthesiologist to do it; either we could call in 'Steve' who would take 30 minutes to get here, or wait until shift change at 7:00 when 'Dave' would be in. It was 5:30 am. They went to talk to the doctor and decided to wait until 7:00. So for the next 2 hours I tried to rest in between contractions (which were still 10 minutes apart) and not move too much so that the baby's rate stayed on the monitor. She was still having little dips that had the nurse a bit concerned.

Those 2 hours were awful. Not necessarily in terms of physical pain (I was in a lot of pain, but I was also resting between them), but my anxiety had really kicked in. As I laid in that bed I had an internal monologue: I need an epidural I can't do this without an epidural If I don't get an epidural I am not having this baby If I can't get an epidural I am going to ask to go under general anesthesia and have a c-section I don't know how women have babies without pain meds So much for having high pain tolerance I can't have this baby I don't want to do this I need the epidural. I was completely serious; I did not believe I could handle hours of labor and then a delivery without it (and I think I was right). I have serious respect for every woman ever that has given birth without pain medicine. Honestly, you ladies are tough as nails and I am so in awe at the strength and mental fortitude necessary. There is a reason I was born in the day and age of the epidural. 

At 7:20 Dave (aka my new best friend) came in, set up his supplies and asked me if I had any questions (something anesthesiologist #1 did not do). I asked him about the things I'd felt during the first epidural experience and he explained that they have to find the right placement by feel and that they use little puffs of air to see if their are in the right voids. That made so much sense and put me at ease. I also had a new nurse at this point and I LOVED her. She was so attentive and kind. Anyway, Dave was a pro and had the epidural placed after 5 minutes. I was so relieved! I was going to be able to have a baby after all.

Once the epidural kicked in I was in heaven. My nurse, Martha, kept me comfortable until about 9:45 when the doctor came in to break my water. I was dilated to a 3. When she broke the waters it was full of thick meconium and caused the doctor and nurse additional concern. Because it was so thick they told me that it was likely that it had been there for a long time and the chances of her aspirating it (breathing it in) were pretty high. They told me that they were going to keep a very close eye on baby's heart rate and if it looked like she was in distress we would be ready to do a c-section immediately. After breaking my water they set up internal monitors so that we could keep a steady reading on baby's heart rate. Martha started me on pitocin because my contractions were irregular. From 10:00 am until about 3:00 pm we waited. Every hour Martha would come to our room to change my bedding, make sure I was comfortable, and roll me from my left side to my right side. She was such a blessing; she had a positive attitude and seemed to genuinely enjoy taking care of me. She also kept us informed and explained to us what the monitors were showing about baby's heart rate, expressing concern and being honest with us about the baby's stress levels. The epidural had taken 100% of my feeling in my legs for the first 5ish hours and I literally couldn't even keep my legs up, lift my hips, or help her turn me at all. It was the strangest feeling. I progressed slowly and at 3:00 I was dilated to about a 7. Baby was experiencing dips and spikes that the nurse was concerned about but said that baby was 'stressed' but not in 'distress.' Around 4:00 I was fully dilated and baby's head was at station 0 but the doctor wanted me to wait to start pushing because baby was handling labor contractions without too much stress but they weren't sure how she'd handle pushing.

20 minutes after they told me we were going to wait the doctor and nurse came in hurriedly and said that we were going to try to push and get this baby out ASAP. Fortunately the epidural had started to fade and I could feel and control my legs and felt the pressure of her head. So without any sort of preparation they propped me up in the stirrups and at the next contraction I pushed.  Apparently they didn't expect my pushing to be as efficient as it was because they both said "WOW, we need to get set up!" So they called for an additional nurse for me, and the baby nurses and we started pushing. Jason had one leg and Martha had the other. After another contraction and three more pushes, one of the nurses asked me if I wanted a mirror to watch. Absolutely! So they brought a mirror and I could see baby girl's hair. I pushed for maybe 20 minutes, through 4 or 5 contractions and she was out (at 4:41 pm)! As her head came out the doctor suctioned her nose and mouth and she let out little whimpers but wasn't crying. After pushing her shoulders out, and the rest of her body, they cut her cord and put her on my stomach. It was the most amazing thing and I am so glad I was able to see the mirror. I was so motivated by seeing the progress we were making with each contraction. It is just mind blowing.

I held her for maybe 30 seconds, listening to her fuss, trying to wrap my head around the fact that this little thing was my daughter, before they took her from me and put her in the warmer next to the bed. The nurses started warming her and tried clearing her windpipe. They removed a bunch of crap but baby still wasn't crying. After unsuccessfully trying to make her angry they called the pediatrician. He checked her and decided she needed to go to the Special Care Nursery (this hospitals NICU). While they'd been working on baby the doctor delivered the placenta and stitched me up. I was SO thirsty and had guzzled water right after she was born. Before they took her to the nursery they let me hold her for one minute; but because I had so much to drink I felt nauseous and they had to take her while I threw up. Jason went with her to the nursery and I (obviously) stayed in bed.

I didn't realize this but the placenta essentially tears away from the walls of the uterus leaving open blood vessels (pardon me if I misunderstand the process) which will continue to bleed until the uterus contracts. So, nurses pushed really (really!) hard on my stomach to cause the uterus to contract, but I just kept bleeding. They kept the epidural on and continued the pitocin to encourage my uterus to contract and stop the bleeding. After trying for 30 minutes or so I was still bleeding so they gave me a shot of something to stop the bleeding. It took a long time and a lot of stomach pushing but eventually the bleeding slowed down enough that they left me alone for a little bit and stopped the epi and the pitocin.

So. That's Julia's birth story. It was about 20 hours of labor and 20 minutes of pushing. It wasn't exactly what I expected but I am so grateful that we were able to deliver vaginally and avoid a C-section. They took my baby from me after less than 2 minutes, and I was not able to do skin-to-skin, or breastfeed the way I had planned. Instead of basking in the warmth of a new baby girl I was alone in my hospital room, beyond exhausted and SO worried about my sick little girl. Julia's NICU story to follow.