Investments

I do this thing... where I get incredibly invested in everything I do.  Well, not everything.  But, everything I find to be worthwhile.

If my name is going to be on a product then I want it to be good and I am going to work so hard to make sure that happens.  The time and the energy and the bloodsweatandtears tie me to the outcome so completely that I often struggle to separate myself from it.

This happens at work.  I own what ever project I happen to be managing.  It becomes mine.  My store. My employees. My success.  My failure.  Mine.

This happens at school.  I sometimes feel like my self-worth is directly tied to the marks I receive in class. I've gotten over this a little bit, thanks to some average grades and some great friends.  But, it still matters to me so much.

This happens in relationships.  I tend to be a very slow mover at the beginning.  I'm very wary of these new romantic situations and tend to tread carefully. But once I'm in, I'm IN.  I'm invested and I'm in a position where my heart can be broken.

It's a good thing I think... but it also means that roadblocks, discrepancies, misunderstandings, or failures seem very personal.