"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same."
But it wasn't until this weekend that I realize just how much I have to learn from this quote.
I am scared of doing hard things.
I am so scared of failing that it often keeps me from trying.
I want to be among the best but often don't feel worthy of being labeled as such.
I have no confidence.
I am afraid to disappoint- my parents and friends and family-- but especially myself.
It takes huge amounts of encouragement from others to give me the temporary courage to attempt a hard thing.
It's not that I'm scared of hard work, or that I'm lazy. I want to do the best so badly that I'm absolutely terrified of trying and failing. Literally scared out of my mind.
It has come down to deciding if it's better to try and fail or to never try and live forever never knowing if I would have been successful.
For some people this may be an easy decision, but for me its like jumping head first off a 30 story building and hoping there is a foam pit waiting for me below. I'm not sure I trust myself that much. I'm working on it... and I'm grateful to my parents for constantly reminding me how much I truly am capable of, because I forget- daily.
Who am I not to be {my absolute best}?
Who am I not to be {my absolute best}?
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