Fat and Beautiful

I spent the last two hours at the Laundromat. While I sat there pondering life, I had multiple ideas of blog posts come to mind. I was excited to get back home and write. Then, as I was folding clothes and engaging in a phone (text) conversation with a friend of mine, he said something that made me change my mind and write about another topic which I've been contemplating for quite some time.

I think there is a population who may be offended or taken back by my thoughts, which is fine. But I think it's an important message and I feel like I should share.

It's not secret that I'm more than a couple pounds overweight. I've always been 'big boned' and always held a few extra pound, particularly around my middle section. For most of my 21 years I was ashamed, embarrassed, and extremely unhappy with this. Only recently (VERY recently) have I come to not only accept, but embrace my full figured body. I'm tired of being sorry for being confident. I shouldn't have to apologize for my self-acceptance.

*I'm sorry if the amount of skin in this photo offends you*

I am sexy. Just as sexy and beautiful as any woman out there. I'm not deluded; I know there are plenty of men and women who would disagree, but that's okay. I'm never going to be the world's standard of beautiful: I'll never be size 2 with shapely breasts, a tight butt, and long, beautifully toned legs. Those girls are beautiful... but, that can't be me and I'm done pretending that it ever could be. The best part is, there are men who think I'm beautiful. Despite the crude behavior of many of societies men, you don't have to be a Barbie to be beautiful.

These girls are absolutely stunning.

But, skinny isn't always beautiful:

I don't just say "I'm beautiful and I'm confident," I really, truly believe it. I wear trendy clothes that flatter my figure and make me feel comfortable and confident. When I look in the mirror I don't (*usually) see the 30 extra pounds. I see tan skin and big blue eyes, curly blonde hair and muscular legs. Of course there are times when I just don't feel pretty and can't help but feel that losing even 5 pounds would make me so much more beautiful.... but these times are few and far between: and getting even farther. I don't walk around in bikinis and revealing shirts and skirts. I know my body and I know what makes me look and feel good. I don't need to feed into the worlds perceptions and expectations... I set my own.

So many of my friends are constantly critiquing their bodies or finding flaws in their flabby legs or pouchy stomach. It hurts me. I'm much more flabby and 'pouchy' than any of them, but it simply doesn't bother me on such a constant level. I never say "Ya! Me too! My legs are HUGE!!" Because, whether or not it's true, that kind of self-deprecating talk never did anyone any good. This kind of thinking is what prompted this blog post, my friend, a man, said "I'm fat." Not only is this not remotely true, but I think he's extremely good looking and this 'fat' he speaks of does not weigh into my feelings for him in the least. Why should it weigh into his feelings about himself? Oh, how I wish everyone could love themselves, just the way they are.

Our Heavenly Father gave us these bodies as a gift. They are powerful instruments made to do so much. Mine can run and swim and sleep and work. It bends and throws and lifts and carries and holds. It hugs and kisses and cuddles and will one day make beautiful babies ;).

And it does all of this BECAUSE OF the bones and muscles and fat. It does it just as well as yours or his or hers or theirs.

Some of you might be thinking, "Ya, but you'd be so much healthier if you lost the weight." This is probably true. I know. I have a gym membership that I use often. I don't gorge myself on whatever I want, whenever I want. But, honestly, I think having a healthy frame of mind and a slightly unhealthy body is a lot better for me than a 'healthy' body and a poor self-image. I'm all about self-improvement, but for me, that journey started with my mind. I'll lose the weight a bit at a time. I'll lose the weight because I feel beautiful and because I feel good about myself. Not SO I'll feel beautiful and SO I'll feel good about myself.

I wish everyone of all shapes and colors and sizes could embrace their own individuality and their own bodies. You are gorgeous. HE thinks so; HE made you just the way you are... so don't be hatin'.