Who Am I Not To Be...?

who i am now is not who i thought i'd be.

and i don't know how i feel about that.

part of me feels good, i feel like i'm being true to myself. finally.

part of me feels lost, is this really me?

who is jaraka? {when} will i find her?

what if i've already found her and this is it? this is me, what if?

*sigh*

october does this to a person i think.

october does this to me. but i feel it more this year. i feel different. strange even.

... ... i am already looking forward to January 1, 2013. I am not sure why, i've never put my reliance into new year's day. but this year i am anxious for that fresh start. maybe my life will make sense in 2013. maybe answers will come in 2013. maybe i'll figure something out in 2013.

the rest of 2012 is an experiment.
who. am. i.

and why.