7 down, 2 to go

My entire life I have thought and dreamed about becoming a mother. On many occasions I have thought about my future children and the mom I want to be for them. Over the years most of what I've felt is excitement and anticipation, and when Jason and I found out we were expecting that's what I felt.

But over the last 7.5 months I've felt so many things. I love this child so much; I lay in bed at night and think about the life inside me and all that potential. I haven't really met her yet, but I'm already her biggest fan. Her daddy and I are completely crazy about her.

I've tried really hard not to complain about the side effects of pregnancy (my husband might raise his eyebrows at this statement, but I do try). Yup, pregnancy is uncomfortable... the body of a mother is changing and growing at a pretty rapid pace. But I just can't keep complaining about something that's happening because my body is serving as incubator and life source for my precious little girl. When I find myself feeling achy or rotund I try to at least acknowledge that those feelings are so minuscule compared to the blessing of this little human I get to call my own. I often find myself in complete awe of what my body is doing... all by itself. Without conscious thought I have been the perfect place for this child; if that's not a miracle, I don't know what is.

To feel her kicks and rolls (and what seems to be break-dancing or the hokey-pokey) has been the best part... I love knowing she is growing bigger and stronger. Again, I watch as my belly rolls and pops, completely in awe at what is happening in there. Jason was able to feel her move a few times as early as 24 weeks, but more often then not I'd excitedly call him over, he would put his hand on my belly, and she'd stop moving. He called her his cantankerous little girl. :) Just yesterday (at 34 weeks) we were sitting in our Childbirth and Labor class at the hospital and she's just going crazy. We sat there, with his hand on my belly, for nearly an hour and the two of them played tag or hide and seek. I swear she was reacting to the pressure and prods of her daddy's fingers. It was fun to see; he was so excited to get to interact with her. Imaging Jason as a dad makes me so happy! He's a wonderful man, husband, and uncle... I am looking forward to seeing my favorite man hold and love our child...

I feel a lot of things about my new role: excitement, terror, joy, gratitude, stress, and just about everything else. If I can figure out how to turn these feelings into words I will share with you shortly. I am profoundly grateful to my Heavenly Father for the amazing blessing of carrying this child with me for the last 7.5 months (and the next 1.5); I know this is a blessing that is not afforded to all, and I just hope and pray that I can be the kind of mother she needs, now and for the course of her life.