Relationship

This may be a wee bit personal.

But, then again, it's my blog and I'll spew gushy, personal slime if I want to.

As far as relationship experience goes I've got almost none.

At first I was T.E.R.R.I.F.I.E.D. at the thought of commitment. *gasp* "what if we just give it some more time" "i'm just worried" "it's been less than a month" .... no, that wasn't him. that's me. go figure.

Not to say that I no longer have any fear, because I do. It's scary, this whole i-like-him-he-likes-me-and-we're-adults-and-this-is-really-real thing.

But, I'm slowly but surely discovering that along with the scariness, there is also a level of security. It's nice to know that just because I may have annoyed him a little bit, or because i elbowed him in the eyebrow and gave him a goose-egg (not that that really happened), or because his phone is broken and he can't talk to me for a whole two days (i know, i know, i'm pathetic) doesn't mean he's not interested, or that he doesn't want to be with me, or that he's pulling away.

Isn't that awesome, I can be a total klutz, diva, crybaby, and yet... he's still there. In fact, he'll be there until one of us sits the other down and says, "it's over, I don't want to see you anymore." Maybe that's a silly and slightly skewed view of a relationship, but it's comforting to me. It's comforting to know that I can mess up, cry (which I've done plenty of), beat him up, and pout and he's just going to give me another hug. I like it.

It's a new feeling, and not something I really thought much about before this whole gf/bf thing began. I didn't realize how comforting it is to know that there is someone who ALWAYS wants to see you. ALWAYS wants to make sure you're happy, and taken care of.

It's a blessing (and a curse) and I'm grateful. scared. but grateful. and not to mention excited.

Sometimes I feel sad, scared, anxious, about my relationship or life or school or just about anything and everything else and it's kinda crazy how just thinking about him and the way he looks at me can help me relax and keep things in perspective. Weird.

Not to mention the super cute Mixed CD he made me. Yup, a trueblue mixed CD full of cheesy, cute, romantic songs. And I love it. :)