... and i cried...

I have been an emotional wreck lately.

Everything makes me overly emotional.... which is only a little weird.

I wouldn't consider myself an expressive, overtly emotional person {generally speaking} BUT when I feel passionately about something [in a good or bad way] I struggle to keep my emotions in check.

This has proven to be a problem on more than on occasion. Basically: I. Suck. At. Conflict. This is not to say that I don't know how to disagree, I do. This is also not to say that I don't have an appreciation and understanding of other people's points of view, I do. It is to say that when I believe or feel or know something and I wish to share it and persuade people of it, I often struggle to keep the emotion out of my voice. Sometimes it shows itself as anger and sometimes as sadness and sometimes as nervousness and sometimes defensiveness and sometimes I just give up and resign to silence because it's not worth it to me.

This is not a positive quality. It makes working in teams [work, school, church, personal] difficult on occasion. I've welled up in tears more than once while speaking with my boss. I've been able to hold them in every time, but it's embarrassing nonetheless. I just care so much that it's hard for me to check my baggage.

anyway...

I cry a lot lately. I bawled at the end of Waiting for Superman. It is an incredible movie and it touched me, I felt horrible for those children. I cried when boy was mean, I cried when interview wasn't great {it was ok. but not great}, I cried when I looked at the number on the bathroom scale, I cried when I felt like there's nothing I could do, I cried at church, and walking home from church, and sitting on the couch after church.

This is SO not normal. I think the stress [life] is getting to me. I'm trying to balance simply not caring at all & caring too much. It's a weird feeling, but it's what I'm feeling.

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"Upon the palms of my hands, I have written your name." Isaiah 49:16