Compliments

Yesterday I had a conversation with a boy.  We had just been on a date and were cuddled up on the couch watching Beauty and the Best (the original Disney version).  It was a great date and we both felt very comfortable and I knew he liked me.

We'd been joking around and then he gets serious and says, "I really like you, Jaraka."
Me: "Oh phew! Cuz otherwise I'd feel used."
Him: "There you go killing the moment again."
Me: "What do you mean?"
Him: "Everytime I compliment you, you make a joke about it or say something to lighten the situation."
Me: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't notice."

Conversation continued for awhile and then he says something about how much he enjoyed talking to me throughout the week; how nice it was to have someone who just made him happy and helped him get through a tough week.  Again I said something funny, taking the pressure off myself and turning the conversation to something else.

I didn't notice until after I had done that a couple times that it was quite a habit.

He asked, "Why can't you accept a compliment? You are killing all my moments."
Me: "Hummmm"
Him: "Just tell me."
So, I think... and think... and then it kinda clicks.
Me: "I think it's because I'm so used to guys telling me things that end up not being true, that is easier to just assume its not true from the get-go. Laugh it off."

It was such an eye-opening moment.  I never realized how difficult it was for me to accept compliments from boys.  But over and over and over again I came up with a reason to laugh it off. I couldn't accept the attention and the praise.

Weird.  But I'm grateful for him and his patience and his persistence. I think it will really help me to have someone around who will keep his promises and follow through.

It was just one date, but suddenly my eyes have been opened.